What parent would name children after Anastasia and Drusilla,
Cinderella’s evil step-sisters in that iconic tale?
Anastasia was a poor choice I think, Grand Duchess quality,
too much dignity for a mean girl. But Drusilla, the perfect cad.
I looked up silly girl names and there were many,
some who actually had those monikers to my dismay--
Green and Autumn Harvest, hippie names
honored Nature more than daughters,
(God--the original name of China Kantner),
Bluebell, the cheap ice cream, Desdemona and Ophelia,
thanks mom for the name of one strangled one, one suicide.
Bambi, I knew a young lady named that but it was not dear to her.
Oh, young parents, be so careful when you peruse those books of names.
Add ie to see how it sounds before you decide. Nearly wrecked me.
Vernie--always misspelled on medicine bottles as if I were a girl.
Even a cute nickname may hurt a tender heart.
Remember your own silly terms of endearment,
embarrassing if ever made public--Coochie, Honey Pot or Schmoopy--
you know exactly what I mean--so think before you leap.
A whim of yours could be a social disaster for your child—
mocked in school, shunned on the playground.
But Drusilla stands--a perfect name for her wickedness.
So bad it made silly Cinderella into a well-loved name,
which, I suspect, no one ever named a child,
but not as bad as Bippity Boppity Boo.
Originally published in The Point Press